Dirty Little Secret

How often have you heard (or read) about the importance of making gratitude a habit? And that your habit should include journaling?

I see it. A lot.

Actually, I’m amazed how many articles I read all include the same basic advice — journal three things a day that you’re grateful for.

Have you ever tried to start a gratitude habit and failed? Or maybe, I should ask, “How many times have you tried to start a gratitude habit and failed?”

Or worse, what if you formed a gratitude habit and found it wasn’t all you thought it was cracked up to be.

Recently, I’ve been thinking about gratitude habits — and other habits…a lot. You see, I had a nagging thought. One of those that wouldn’t leave me alone.

It led me to a conclusion. One that might surprise you.

YOU DON’T REALLY WANT A GRATITUDE HABIT!

There, I said it. I even put it into print so that I am now on the record as saying you don’t really want a gratitude habit.

Habits are hard to form. Habits take time to form.

Habits actually get in the way of what you really want!

You don’t really want a gratitude habit!

What you really want is the transformation that having gratitude brings!

However, you were told the way to embrace gratitude was to make it a habit.

PAUSE. Let that soak in.

It took a while for that distinction to soak into my heart, mind, and soul.

I resisted the idea. Maybe you are resisting it too.

Let’s dig deeper and see what we discover.

Maybe you’re thinking, aren’t they the same thing?

Let me gently steer you towards understanding that they're not.

While the concept of a gratitude habit is well-meaning.

You realize gratitude is important and beneficial. You want to make it part of your life. You set out to make it a habit. A habit adds a touch of structure and predictability to your life.

You start “doing” a gratitude practice or exercise every day. The downside is if you allow gratitude to become habitual, you might begin ‘doing it’ without a second thought — without any thought…or feeling grateful.

If you're not careful, your gratitude has become an empty routine.

Gratitude has become another item on your to-do list — something you do without thinking, mechanical, perhaps even rushed or robotic.

That’s why some people have form a habit and then write gratitude off as ineffective. Because habits can allow you to do something without really thinking about it…without even experiencing it.

I thought I might be wrong about this and these were some crazy notions. I went to one of the habit gurus, James Clear, to see if I was off-base about my belief that you don’t really want a habit.

Here’s what he had to say about it.

In a sense, every habit is just an obstacle to getting what you really want. Dieting is an obstacle to getting fit. Meditation is an obstacle to feeling calm. Journaling is an obstacle to thinking clearly. You don’t actually want the habit itself. What you really want is the outcome the habit delivers. The greater the obstacle—that is, the more difficult the habit—the more friction there is between you and your desired end state. This is why it is crucial to make your habits so easy that you’ll do them even when you don’t feel like it. If you can make your good habits more convenient, you’ll be more likely to follow through on them.

Transformational gratitude goes beyond habit-forming.

It isn't merely about the routine; it's about the sincerity, the intent, the conscious interactions. It's about genuinely feeling gratitude and acknowledging its weight.

Transformative gratitude isn't about mechanically writing down what you are thankful for each day; it is about feeling that surging appreciation, the reverberation in your guts when you think about your reasons.

It's about the genuine ear-to-ear smile that brightens your face when something reminds you why you are grateful.

The power of gratitude is genuinely transformative!

It can help cultivate positive relationships, enhance emotional well-being, decrease stress, and even be a source of strength during the darkest of days and saddest of times. It offers a gateway to understanding the deeper layers of our lives and consciousness.

How, then, can we harness this transformative power of gratitude?

We begin in the same place we start a habit. The difference lies in mindfulness, in the authenticity of the practice. Slow down, take the time to truly reflect on what you're grateful for.

Engage in gratitude exercises that require genuine thought, such as journaling about your gratitude, expressing gratitude to others sincerely, or practicing mindful meditation that focuses on gratitude.

Feel it.

Transformative gratitude has far-reaching benefits. It leads to increased positivity and resilience, a better ability to handle adversity, improved mental health, and more fulfilling relationships. The transformation gratitude ushers, enriches our soul and deepens our perspective about life.

I invite you to start your journey towards the transformative power of gratitude. It's not just about the routine, the daily notes, or the momentary thoughts. It's an immersive experience that could change the way you perceive life altogether.

Ultimately, gratitude changes the way you live your life. YOU LIVE GRATEFULLY.

I hope you do. Or I hope you will. I invite you to make that your intention and set out on the journey to Live IN Gratitude. It’s more satisfying and fulfilling than simply having a gratitude habit.

Start today. Start now!

What’s something that has wooed or wowed you today? Notice that.